isn't it a beauty?

if you can rope me, you can have me

dear stupid boy who i'm in love with

why can't you speak out? just fucking do it. what's there that's stopping you? who cares what people would think?

Fresh start

for some odd reason, i want to open a new chapter. i'm tired of hanging on the same things and just waiting for something to magically happen cause life's too short. the future is the future. for now, let's just jump off that sofa and take it out!

Regrets?

out of a thousand guys i know, i had to pick you. and out of a thousand girls you know, you had to break my heart

50

there was an empty sit in class today and school was dead silence without you. it feels like i haven't seen you in ages, get well soon.

Gasp

you told me all of these wonderful things that made my day and made me so happy that tears started rolling down my cheeks. but then you just blew me away. and now holding on to you seems stupid but for some reason i'm holding on tighter

Attack transformers

been brainfucked by school lately. gah, i need some sleep

hell awaits

yes, school started. fun. sense the sarcasm in this post, cause theres gonna be alot of it lol. sigh, so dang tired and it's just been the 3 days since school started. and i'm already getting eyebags, grrrreat. oh and M's been sorta acting weird around me in school, he keep having this thing where when i catch him staring at me or he catches me staring and him and then theres just this awkward moment where we both kinda smile abit and change the subject. you catch my drift? lol but yes, i've been missing him like crazy. most of my classes are with him so yeah, thank god lol. oh and everybody grew and got hotter in the summer, how awesome is that? (except me ofcourse) they say i got shorter, oh curse you people. oh and been fasting lately, seriously i felt like fainting in art and miss dalton's been babbling the whole lesson. she needs help with that.

MGMT MODE

Can't stop listening to kids and time to pretend. God, they are so addictive

Flick your cigarette, then kiss me

school's starting soon and so are the parties. can't wait to hit sunrise and have fun with my bitches *wink

Feeling blue

I've been listening to Norah Jones all day long, no idea why.

fuck the pain away

you and your reputation

credits to hana, haha. dude you go on youtube too much

i told you, i didn't want this to happen

youtube

it's addictive isn't it?

behaviours

guys, i'm gonna start to do this thing where i pick this one letter from the alphabet randomly and tell you things i like beginning with the letter i chose. so now, i'll choose.. B!

*-blue skinny jeans
bean bags
blueberries
babies
baby food
body language
bread (the band)
bread (the bread you eat with nutella)
believing
balls (yeah i know what you're thinking, sick minds i tell you)
ballerinas
baggy pants
beach
bubble wrap
butter
blogs
burn (the energy drink)
bob dylan
blackberry bold
bananas
boys (haha)
balloons
badminton
backgrounds
bombs


damn it, that's all i could think of.

lip balms

i'm obsessed with these lip balms that smells fruity, saw a couple in body shop and oh my do they smell nice. gave one to aina though, no idea why. well atleast i can still the keep the strawberry one which smells lovely.

oh read on, love

no i won't bitch about you in my blog, sadly. cause i'm better than that. i don't use my blog as a place where i tell everyone how much i hate you, plus i think everyone knows already right? haha, fucker.

beneath the orange sky

in your love, my salvation lies

i never really get what i need, i only get what i want

people say being in love and being in a relationship are two different things. somehow, i think that makes sense. i'm not sure if i was ever in love or am i in love now.

thanks guys and just updates

i just got to know, people do read my blog. hahaha, i thought my blog was very stupid and i suck at writing. knowing people read my blog doesn't really change all that but yess, hahaha. thanks guys for reading and following hehe, i'm sure i'll get better at writing. hopefully hahah :p

ooo, someone's got the lovebug. heheh. it's so complicated you know, i like this guy but he likes this girl and this other guy comes along and he likes me but i still want the the guy before. hahaha see my point? nabil cakap, don't hate the players. hate the game. i am soo not ready for all of this love shits, seriously i'm not but i can't just drop my feelings towards someone kan? sigh it's sooo hard. but nabil also cakap, decide. don't look back. haih see nabil's influencing me hahahaha. but yeaa, he gives good advice *wink

well, this is enough laa hahah, i'll post random photos laterrrr. hehe loves xx

night lights

im boreddd, i dont know what to do. nobody's online except for adib hahaha, im watching clueless again. yes again. ahhh, help.

shake it

yasmin ahmad's

she made lots of heart touching advertisements, she was brilliant. Al-Fatihah.
Rest in Peace Yasmin Ahmad.

its all just a misunderstanding

realization

hi. i've just realized i take alot of photos of myself because im a self-obsessed bitch

tired

why do i always fall for the wrong guys. i mean everytime i realize im falling for someone, in the middle of it theres always a giant thick, really thick wall in the middle of us. i dont know, maybe my imaginations just abit off. people used to tell me that all the time when i was younger. well for example, when i think im falling for someone suddenly bam, he has a girlfiend or bam, he's in love with a bitch who ruined my life. yeah, stuffs like that. its just bloody annoying and when i see my friends or my cousins happy with their soulmates, it makes me think. i mean i want that, i want the exact same thing. cut the money, cut the looks. its just me and him, us. just us, nothing else matters. but everytime i say something about it, one of em will eventually say "good things happen to those who wait" or "wait for your turn. mr right is just around the corner" like what the hell, how long do i have to wait and how long is this corner cause trust me, i cant even see his shadow from where im standing. sigh, maybe im just jealous of my friends and they're so happy. no not maybe, i am jealous of them. its just, sometimes i want to end just one day with a smile on my face. no problems, no mistakes. almost even perfect. xx

hey young world,

sorry for not blogging in a while, been sorta busy with dirty sexy money heheh. i finished how i met your mother and tried to find some other tv series i could watch and i remembered my cousin eza told me she was deadly in love with this tv show so i gave it a shot to see if it's all that and im on episode 9 now, its amazingg haha. and yes now i know why eza was drooling over jeremy darling, he is so sexy. anyhow, i found out people do read my blog. it's amusing and sort of cool at the same time hahah, thanks for reading guys. i thought i blog kinda retardedly and not to say that i still dont think i do but yeah thanks for the compliments everyone ;) ohh guess what i found out? 80% approximately of my friends are taken by lovely people, isnt that sweet? but its kinda sad to know that im still single while my friends are out there with their love ones, grr im so jealous. me and nadia been talking about how we think we're the only people that's single at the time being, it's kinda pathetic and sad so we kinda tried to find guys but the ones we like would always be not available or taken or in "love" with some bitch. well nadia sorta found someone awesome haha, goodluck nad. i thought i found someone but looks like he's still hanging on to someone, but mmm whatevs. life's too short to brag about something that never happened. xx

addicted

yes. how i met your mother. simply the best tv show ever shown on tv, goood stuff. i used to watch it on tv but now im obsessed with it again and trust me, there are loads of awesome episodes i missed out. almost finished though. im using alot of barney's catchy phrases nowadays, kinda creeping myself out but yeah. story of my life. im kinda supposed to be sleeping right now cause i have to wake up early tmorrow and hit nina's. i think. oh today i've discovered something that will change our lives, but it's kind of a turn off since i cant tell anyone about it. yeah well anyways im getting eyebags again, oh god i hate them. i guess thats what you get when you stay up late for simply no reason -.- im getting more pathetic each and everyday... im gonna go and hmm bye. xx

booyah

WHAT UPPPP, isnt that just over the top? yeah i know. xx

ngehh

i've been so tired and sleepy nowadays, i dont know why. i'm getting even more lazy as each day passes by. man, it's almost august already. time flies by so quick. i've been watching all of grey's anatomy episodes, yeapp finished them all. it's soo touching. now i'm stuck to how i met your mother, awesome stuff. i love barney stinson's catchy phrases. i'm gonna start drawing again i think and writing. i miss writing. i dont write like i used to. sigh, bye xx

trust and promises

you know what, i'm going to risk it. i'm going to trust you and remember our promise. if i regret this one day, i'm going to blame nobody but me. i love you, it's not my fault. even you know this friendship will go nowhere. but like you said,
let fate decide our future. xx

headache

my head feels like it's going to explode any second from now. oh god. it hurts like crazy. i've eaten the pills already but the pain just doesn't go away. oh fuck it. xx

strange

i still can't seem to recognize my own feelings. is it hate, love, or jealousy? it's all mixed up. sometimes it all happens at once especially when i'm with him, i hate that i love him and i'm jealous that he has someone that's falling for him deeper and deeper as days passes by.

odd isnt it? well, i'm gonna go and get ready. going to nina's. bye xx

smell of bluberries in the morning

I miss always smelling your perfume on my clothes every time we go out, it's like the smell of sweet blueberries in the morning. you were always there but i guess it was just time to go. I still haven't forgave you for leaving me hanging. it still hurts.

then it all just went all blurr

since i've been always been on the laptop in the dark, when i look at something for a long time it goes all blur and hazy. im gonna need to check my eyes in Malaysia. i look smart as hell with glasses, and trust me i've seen myself with glasses.

09 so far and mean facebook quizzes

dude, my '09 so far sucks. yeah, that was a great intro. but yeah, it's just haven't been my year. well 2008 was definitely not my year. urgh what do i mean what i say it's not MY year, i mean i know i don't own years but that would be cool if i could buy em. anyways, back to the point. when i say it's not my year, i mean that nothing interesting has been happening this year. you know all those miracle crap, i don't even know why i still live by them. but that's alright, i still have enough of my coolness for everyone. *winks



i did one of those "Are you a dork, nerd or a geek?!" quiz thing on facebook, yeah when i don't have anything else to do. facebook is my homie. anyways, so i did this quiz and it asked me some of the most disturbing questions like "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO MOT" and they give answers you can pick out and all of em seemed to be like "I LOVE STUDYING." "STUDYING IS COOL" "I STUDY FOR MY FUTURE" and i'm just there trying to look for the "none of the above" button and finding a way to skip that question. well, i did have to pick one of em. and i'm not gonna tell you which. well overall, i got NERD. i know i'm a nerd, i don't facebook to tell me. i guess alot of people found that interesting and liked it. you liked that you son of a bitch? lol you guys are backstabbers.

twitter

starting to get the hang of twitter. but you know you're just like a click away to update your status, and you can only do that on twitter so yeah i think i update it too often. here's my twitter www.twitter.com/fikasuhaimi follow me *winks

inspired

i found out about this whole iwrotethisforyou blog thing. heard about it before, thought it was just another cliche blog. but today i seemed to ran out of websites to check out so i checked that blog out and read every single post. oh man, they're brilliant. love the photography, amazingly beautifully done. and i love the fact that they're two different people from two different worlds. nice idea guys. and i've also checked out that post secret blogs. i seem to be so into post secrets nowadays, i dont know. at first post secrets seemed to be somewhat disturbing but i like it now. if you guys are interested, i'll put up the link at the end. hehe.

i cant believe i'm going to say this, but i'm turning anorexia. i cant eat. i never seem to be hungry nowadays. i'm making people worried and making myself worry, sorry guys. i know i'm at my most pathetic stage but i'm really trying to be myself again. sorry if im changing into a different person, alot of people have been warning me about that. sometimes i just don't realize what i'm doing. nadia told me today she hasn't seen me as sad as i was. just that second, it hit me. "what are you doing?"



http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/

When Harry met Sally

I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Harder chaos

It's the second day since he left. Dang, i thought i was gonna feel much better than this. People say i'll get used to it and stuff. I dont want to get used to it, him not being around. Him not gonna be around like a paparazzi taking loads of photos. I miss that. I miss him always making me crack up like crazy. I'm having trouble breathing now, and im having trouble facing the fact that he's gone. He's never coming back to Moscow. Maybe i'm just hoping too much from him, yeah i know but that's the only thing that keeps me going. I cant stop hoping, if i do what other thing can i depend on? i know there's no such thing as a happy ending but i know i'll try to get as close as i can. I'll wait for him. Eventhough it'll take me 5 years or even 10. I dont care. Maybe i'm going to change my mind in the middle of those years but god knows when. And even maybe i'll still love him, Maybe i'll love him even more. Let's just see how it goes.

11july2009

i've never cried this hard before in my life, you made me do it. i acted strong infront of you, knowing if i cried it's just not worth it anymore. i'll miss catching you looking at me and smiling. i'll also sure miss how hard you'd make me laugh on and on. you're an adult now, time to face the real world. you need to spend time wisely and focus now. im just a girl you knew in the past. trust me, im gonna find you someday and tell you everything but that day wont come soon. i hope i'll still have time to do all that cause i hate regretting. maybe memories about you will wear off, but maybe it'll just stay there forever. i want it to stay. no matter how hard you made me cry, no matter how many pieces you made my heart broke into, i love you. maybe that's just for now, but who knows. i really love being around you. you make me feel for once cared for and needed. you have a life to live and i have mine, let's just pause this story and start a new one. maybe someday continue the old one.

Template baruuu

Not so pretty pon but still, cantikk. To blogspot, please put up more nice templates. NOT stupid plain ones but with corak corak and etc ok? ada paham? pegi carik translator.

BOSAAAN

Grr, bosannya harini! Baru bangun, dah bosan. Ish. Takde sape on Msn, Ym or either Fb. Korang ni kann. Fridays mesti bosaaaan. Dahlah bye.

Congratulations Doctors!

Congrats 6th years!
Banyak sgt nama lah kne tulis. You know who you are kan? :p Most of them are leaving tomorrow morning. Sobs. See you guys in Malaysia ok? :D

Last day of school. sobs.

It was saaad. I thought i'd be happy since school's like over man, for 2 months for gods sake. But heck no, i was crying :( i hugged everyone, i repeat everyone. even andy cho lol. No no, andy you've been a great shoulder to cry on.

Yesterday was quite fun, we played loads of weird games but it was funny in so many ways. Oh ohh, i won the best on relay. heheh, i swear i thought andyA was gonna get it, he was fast. no doubt. Aina got a medal for relays too, we were both like "what the f?" lol was smiling like mad at the front.

Sadly, Tolstoy won sports day. Grr, darn you tolstoy. But atleast chekov got second and beat pushkin. Since they've been giving us a hell of a hard time and plus, we hate them! lol Tolstoy should've won anyways, yogi was effin fast. But i still think chekov shoul've won. We kicked their asses on Tug of War real bad. But nahh, there's always a next time right chekov? :)

Oh oh. I miss muhammed so bad :( Grr, hate you holidays.

p/s The photo at the top was on sports day :D *dont mind the blue guy's ass.

Summer break just around the corner

Helloo readers, today i skipped school. not my fault. suddenly my mom had the urge to not wake me up. good news for me, i dont have to finish my art hw. hoyeahhh. well i feel kinda abit guilty of not coming today though cause i promised to give nina my bag and my camera for her to bring it to the space museum. and it's yogi's and aly's last day, and i didnt had the chance to hug them. oh well, that can wait for another 2 months ay? sorry yogi and aly. i woke up lastnight at like 3 or something and dad came in and told me one of my friends was on the phone, i was like wth now? and no suprise, kat. she doesnt have a life or something. i need my beauty sleep lol. am still tired of sports day on monday, my whole body aches. anyways, then kat said she doesnt feel like going to school today but she'll come on friday. i was like wth. you disturbed me from my sleep to tell me THIS. then hung up and just continued sleeping. next thing i know it was 9am lol, mom rock on.

Holidays are starting now though, tmorrow's the last day. i dont know why but im sad cause i dont want to spend my fuckin summer with my family. i wanna go to sardinia with kat and chiaraaaa. eventhough i dont know where the hell is sardinia but still. sasha is a bitch lol she didnt give me my purse back and she's in croatia or something. biatch, i want my purse back or i'll kill you with my bare hands.

Looks like muhammed left already. sports day was his last day. it was hard for me, i tried to talk to him but since im a dumbass and andy was stuck to him. i couldnt. since everyone knows now, i just dont really give a shit anymore. life's hard, deal with it.

I havent planned my summer vacation yet though. maybe going back to malaysia, but if not probably going to turkey. my mom is dying to go there. if we're not going anywhere. ill be in my room watching cartoons or movies while eating junk. aint that just a lovely holidays. since everyone's practically gone to holidays. god knows what they're doing right now.

Dad's getting a new car. yes. thank god. im tired of that his mercedez -.-' and like usual, he's planning to buy a volvo. ok fine, gotta admit the rims are awesome and it's a nice car but volvo dad? seriously? no hummer? lol no no jk.

I heard from someone. maria owned mr. o'connor. lol funny shit. so mr o' connor came into the geo class and then everyone's like wth it smells like onions. and then maria was like oh no, it's just mr. o'connor lol owned. but honestly, he does smell a truck full of onions just fell on him.

I wanna go back to malaysiaaa, so bad. anything to go back man. i miss everyone, especially my friends and family. ill come home guys, just wait!

wait. i just realized im home alone LOL ok gotta go and crash the house. lol BYE