Harder chaos

It's the second day since he left. Dang, i thought i was gonna feel much better than this. People say i'll get used to it and stuff. I dont want to get used to it, him not being around. Him not gonna be around like a paparazzi taking loads of photos. I miss that. I miss him always making me crack up like crazy. I'm having trouble breathing now, and im having trouble facing the fact that he's gone. He's never coming back to Moscow. Maybe i'm just hoping too much from him, yeah i know but that's the only thing that keeps me going. I cant stop hoping, if i do what other thing can i depend on? i know there's no such thing as a happy ending but i know i'll try to get as close as i can. I'll wait for him. Eventhough it'll take me 5 years or even 10. I dont care. Maybe i'm going to change my mind in the middle of those years but god knows when. And even maybe i'll still love him, Maybe i'll love him even more. Let's just see how it goes.