tired

why do i always fall for the wrong guys. i mean everytime i realize im falling for someone, in the middle of it theres always a giant thick, really thick wall in the middle of us. i dont know, maybe my imaginations just abit off. people used to tell me that all the time when i was younger. well for example, when i think im falling for someone suddenly bam, he has a girlfiend or bam, he's in love with a bitch who ruined my life. yeah, stuffs like that. its just bloody annoying and when i see my friends or my cousins happy with their soulmates, it makes me think. i mean i want that, i want the exact same thing. cut the money, cut the looks. its just me and him, us. just us, nothing else matters. but everytime i say something about it, one of em will eventually say "good things happen to those who wait" or "wait for your turn. mr right is just around the corner" like what the hell, how long do i have to wait and how long is this corner cause trust me, i cant even see his shadow from where im standing. sigh, maybe im just jealous of my friends and they're so happy. no not maybe, i am jealous of them. its just, sometimes i want to end just one day with a smile on my face. no problems, no mistakes. almost even perfect. xx