my march

The pearls weren’t really white, they were a warm oyster beige, with little knots in between so if they broke, you only lost one. I wished my life could be like that, knotted up so that even if something broke, the whole thing wouldn’t come apart.

life's all about dreaming, really. we pretend everything's ok sometimes just to make others happy, but one day we'll all burst out from under the shadows. because that day, we'll realize that when things happen, there's no turning back. we say it alot, how shit happens and how you don't regret whatever you did. but you know all of that's a bunch of bullshit. you still crawl up to bed wishing things could be better, crying yourself to sleep thinking it would fix all your mistakes from a to z. we're all dreamers here. we have a whole different world in our heads, as we think that world is "perfect".

ok i'm self-centered

i don't mean to be rude to my grandmother or whatsoever, it's just whenever my mom plans for us to visit her. i feel like i just got punched in the face by upcoming boredom. ok yeh, she's old and i know she'd love company, and we don't see her alot cause we live in moscow. one day is quite enough to catch up, i believe. my aunts are always there now aren't they? i don't mind my mom being with my gran for as much days as she wants, but when she drags me with her, it's impossible to get out of the situation. you must think i'm heartless at the moment but think bout it, i haven't been home for quite awhile. 2 fucking years for crying out loud and i only have about a month to meet my friends and all. plus i was never that close to my mom's side of the family anyways. this time, my dad's not gonna be there to save me and let me go off with some mates. if my mom decides to spend the whole time we're there to spend it at my gran's, i'll probably shoot myself. 

*horrible rant but i just had to get it out of my system.

hi blogspot

i haven't blogged in awhile, having fun rebloging insane stuff on tumblr. school's been awful but i'm leaving back to kl the day after tmorrow. will be busy with that for a month. i'm gonna try blogging like i used to much more often, been missing you blogspot. 

this is me nowadays. daily webcam photos + coffee + movie marathons.

isn't it a beauty?

if you can rope me, you can have me

dear stupid boy who i'm in love with

why can't you speak out? just fucking do it. what's there that's stopping you? who cares what people would think?

Fresh start

for some odd reason, i want to open a new chapter. i'm tired of hanging on the same things and just waiting for something to magically happen cause life's too short. the future is the future. for now, let's just jump off that sofa and take it out!

Regrets?

out of a thousand guys i know, i had to pick you. and out of a thousand girls you know, you had to break my heart

50

there was an empty sit in class today and school was dead silence without you. it feels like i haven't seen you in ages, get well soon.

Gasp

you told me all of these wonderful things that made my day and made me so happy that tears started rolling down my cheeks. but then you just blew me away. and now holding on to you seems stupid but for some reason i'm holding on tighter

Attack transformers

been brainfucked by school lately. gah, i need some sleep

hell awaits

yes, school started. fun. sense the sarcasm in this post, cause theres gonna be alot of it lol. sigh, so dang tired and it's just been the 3 days since school started. and i'm already getting eyebags, grrrreat. oh and M's been sorta acting weird around me in school, he keep having this thing where when i catch him staring at me or he catches me staring and him and then theres just this awkward moment where we both kinda smile abit and change the subject. you catch my drift? lol but yes, i've been missing him like crazy. most of my classes are with him so yeah, thank god lol. oh and everybody grew and got hotter in the summer, how awesome is that? (except me ofcourse) they say i got shorter, oh curse you people. oh and been fasting lately, seriously i felt like fainting in art and miss dalton's been babbling the whole lesson. she needs help with that.

MGMT MODE

Can't stop listening to kids and time to pretend. God, they are so addictive

Flick your cigarette, then kiss me

school's starting soon and so are the parties. can't wait to hit sunrise and have fun with my bitches *wink

Feeling blue

I've been listening to Norah Jones all day long, no idea why.

fuck the pain away

you and your reputation

credits to hana, haha. dude you go on youtube too much

i told you, i didn't want this to happen