my march

The pearls weren’t really white, they were a warm oyster beige, with little knots in between so if they broke, you only lost one. I wished my life could be like that, knotted up so that even if something broke, the whole thing wouldn’t come apart.

life's all about dreaming, really. we pretend everything's ok sometimes just to make others happy, but one day we'll all burst out from under the shadows. because that day, we'll realize that when things happen, there's no turning back. we say it alot, how shit happens and how you don't regret whatever you did. but you know all of that's a bunch of bullshit. you still crawl up to bed wishing things could be better, crying yourself to sleep thinking it would fix all your mistakes from a to z. we're all dreamers here. we have a whole different world in our heads, as we think that world is "perfect".

ok i'm self-centered

i don't mean to be rude to my grandmother or whatsoever, it's just whenever my mom plans for us to visit her. i feel like i just got punched in the face by upcoming boredom. ok yeh, she's old and i know she'd love company, and we don't see her alot cause we live in moscow. one day is quite enough to catch up, i believe. my aunts are always there now aren't they? i don't mind my mom being with my gran for as much days as she wants, but when she drags me with her, it's impossible to get out of the situation. you must think i'm heartless at the moment but think bout it, i haven't been home for quite awhile. 2 fucking years for crying out loud and i only have about a month to meet my friends and all. plus i was never that close to my mom's side of the family anyways. this time, my dad's not gonna be there to save me and let me go off with some mates. if my mom decides to spend the whole time we're there to spend it at my gran's, i'll probably shoot myself. 

*horrible rant but i just had to get it out of my system.

hi blogspot

i haven't blogged in awhile, having fun rebloging insane stuff on tumblr. school's been awful but i'm leaving back to kl the day after tmorrow. will be busy with that for a month. i'm gonna try blogging like i used to much more often, been missing you blogspot. 

this is me nowadays. daily webcam photos + coffee + movie marathons.

isn't it a beauty?

if you can rope me, you can have me